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October 04, 2006

Mac OS X Software

A friend of mine has decided to jump ship to a mac and blog his travels. I'm hoping he enjoys the transition, even if he decides not to stay on a mac. To help out, though, I've put together a list of apps that I would install were I getting a new machine. There are a ton of lists like this, but this one is mine!

Unless otherwise specified, all these are open source or freeware. Also, the list is kind of in order of "importance," but not strictly so.

Of course, Mac OS X comes with some very good built-in apps that I highly recommend: Mail, iPhoto, iTunes, Safari, Address Book. iCal is a good program, but I prefer to use Google's calendar system.

There are some other "standard" apps which I would also install on a Windows machine: Skype, Google Earth, MS Office, Opera (browser).

Finally, the following sites are great resources for Mac software:
Open source download list - Open Source Mac
Latest versions of software - Mac Update
Apple-oriented blog (by the Engadget folks) - The Unofficial Apple Weblog
New software (not just Mac) - Download Squad

Posted at 12:12 PM | Comments (1)

September 01, 2006

Quick Wit Retort

I haven't blogged in a long time, and my muse isn't feeding me much at the moment, so I'll share one of my favorite jokes that I read on rec.humor back when Usenet was useful (1990). It has been editted slightly for flavor and currency and do not read it if you're offended by colorful language.

Quick Wit Retort
Once upon a time, a young man went to the circus. He was very excited, as he lived in western Manitoba and had never seen a circus before--the kind of town where you shave and the trolley stops. Anyway, as circus days drew nigh, the young man grew ever more excited. He arrived before dawn to get the best seat in the house and sat down hours before the first trapeze act.

Finally after waiting for so long, the trapeze artists gave an awe-inspiring performance, the elephants danced and the lion tamer tamed. As the finale, clowns came out in full regalia and green hair. They rode around by the gross in a purple Volkswagen. The Volksie pulled up to center of the ring and an overweight clown with orange hair, acne and a purple nose advanced to the podium: "Will the person in section A, row Y, seat 42 please stand up?"

The young man looked at his ticket, and to his surprise, he was sitting in that very seat. The young man stood up. The clown then says, "Well-l-l-l-l-l, there's the horse's ass, now where's the rest of the horse?"

The entire crowd burst out into laughter. The young man, dumbfounded, stood for a moment, then quickly made his way through crowd and out of the tent. Returning home, he wept for days, and mourned the loss of dignity and honor.

Eventually reason overcame his grief and the young man grew determined. "I'm not going to get mad, I'm going to get even and avenge the honor of myself, my family, and this town," he exclaimed. He picked up the curriculum guide for the University of Nevada at Las Vegas (UNLV) correspondence courses and started to read. Eventually his eyes came to rest on an ad for a class in "Quick Wit Retort."

"Learn how to use those snappy comebacks to your advantage, now!"

So the young man sent in his $19.95 and soon received the course materials. In a few weeks, the young man mastered the materials and sent the final back to UNLV. Much to his surprise, a registered letter arrived from the president of UNLV. It read: "Dear Sir: We are utterly flabbergasted at your performance in Quick Wit Retort 101. We would be most gratified if you could come to UNLV to complete your degree with our fine academic institution. Here's a check to cover your expenses."

To make a long story short, the young man made straight A's in the QWR program. He was awarded numerous distinctions and when he graduated, the graduation speaker, General Colin Powell (U.S. Army, Ret.), awarded the man the Presidential Medal of Outstanding Quick Wit Retort, signed by George W Bush himself! Some days afterward, Harvard University sent a Lear jet to pick the man up for an interview.

The graduate admissions officer didn't mince words. "If you complete our masters/doctoral tenured track program in QWR, you will never have to worry about money again," said he. Needless to say, the young man promptly moved to Cambridge. In five years, the man had finished his doctorate. By this time, the young man was known throughout the world as the leading expert in Quick Wit Retort. Word had even reached western Manitoba, which, of course, made his mother very proud. Everyone from Pentagon pundits to Beltway bandits consulted the man on technical questions of QWR.

One day, while sitting at his desk reading his hometown newspaper, the young man noticed that the circus was coming to his hometown again. An evil smile crossed the young man's face. "Hobbs," cried the man to his assistant, "We must be away to Manitoba. Ready the jet!" As the plane crossed the purple mountains majesty and the fruited plains, the young man savored the moment of victory that was to be his. He arrived at the circus tent very early, making sure to get that very special seat: Section A, row Y, seat 42.

Finally, the circus began. The trapeze artists gave an awe-inspiring performance, the elephants danced, and the lion tamer tamed. At last, the clowns came out in full regalia and green hair. They rode around by the gross in a purple Volkswagen. The Volksie pulled up to center of the ring and an overweight clown with orange hair, acne, and a purple nose advanced to the podium: "Will the person in section A, row Y, seat 42 please stand up?"

The young man glanced at his ticket. This time he was ready. The clown looks up at him and says, "Well-l-l-l-l, there's the horse's ass, now where's the rest of the horse?"

The young man rose to his feet, full of confidence. He knew from his years of training that there was only one thing he could do. He thrust out his chest and said in the loudest voice you can imagine: "FUCK YOU, CLOWN!"

Posted at 03:58 PM | Comments (0)

November 01, 2005

Farewell Keith

Sadly, one of the greats in the fantasy art genre has passed. Farewell Keith Parkinson.

:'(

Posted at 09:58 AM | Comments (0)

February 09, 2005

Roleplaying Genders

When playing MMORPGs (massively multiplayer online roleplaying games), I tend to split the gender of my characters about 50/50. Half of them are male and the other half female. Why do I sometimes play female characters? I've broken it down to a few reasons.

One, very few should be surprised to learn that the female character models in games are not always realistic. Their proportions generally match an optimistic view of the female form to please the 90% young male audience. Well, sex appeal works, and the models are pleasing to look at. And when one spends hours playing a game, looking at one's own character, it may as well be one pleasing to look at, no? Granted, the male character models are also over-exagerated as well, but, when in put in other terms, I'd rather have a wall calendar with female models than males.

Two, playing an opposite gendered character in game provides a unique academic exercise. One's perspective of how one gender treats another en masse is certainly challenged when experiencing the other side of the fence. Young male teenagers are particularly blunt, abusive, and, dare I say, cocky when dealing with what they expect to be a female both in-game and out. I have also heard from female gamers playing male characters that the shift is rather insightful.

Three, crossing the gender line further enhances the roleplaying experience. When one plays an elf, dwarf, troll, or orc in-game, there is only a rough estimate and group of stereotypes as to what those creatures would really be like--particularly because they are strictly fantasy creations. However, genders are something that everyone is intimately familiar with, and therefore emulating the opposite sex brings a real world challenge to the fantasy of the game.

A friend brought up an interesting point, however, that it appears that female gamers tend to cross the gender line less often than males. Why the disparity? There are some seemingly obvious answers, but not being an actual female gamer, I don't rightly know.

Posted at 07:49 AM | Comments (0)