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July 25, 2005

English 101

Nearly every person on the net is guilty of this and I've [I have] been noticing it with increasing frequency. Unless your domain suffix is two characters other than .us, you have absolutely no excuse. For the love of [insert prayer receptor here], how hard is it to understand the differences between "they're," "there," and "their" as well as "your," "you're," and "yore?" Here's a cheat sheet for the unenlightened:

* "There" is a place. Unless you can go to it, do not use "there."

* "Their" denotes ownership. Unless the proverbial they can actually have the discussed object, do not use "their."

* "They're" is a contraction of "they are." Unless those known as they exist in the further described state, do not use "they're."

* "You're" is a contraction of "you are." As with "they're", unless you or your directed target actually are, do not use "you're."

* "Your" denotes ownership much as "their" does. Unless you, yourself, or your directed target own it, do not use "your." And PLEASE do not use "ur" as it simply makes you look and/or sound like a nine year-old imbecile when in fact you're [you are] a much older imbecile.

* "Yore" is a time period since past and only added for a tinge of mirth and to complete the "your" triad that "there" has. Unless directly preceded by the phrase "in times of", do not use "yore."

While the rules governing the English language are diverse, contradictory and often confusing due to being developed in times of yore [epoch], their [rules of English] use can greatly enhance the readers' comprehension of your [you possess] verbal soup. There [abstract place] will be much rejoicing the day you're [you are] able to read someone's prose without transcribing it into the English it was written in rather than [not "then"--another peeve] the random smattering of letters they're [they are] trying to pass off as cogent statements.

Here is the first step towards learning how to use the correct form of a homonym: cease use of all contractions. Only use the apostrophe for possessive forms. Doing so has the added benefits of reduced chances for error, breaking the use of "ain't," and clarifying the use of "its" [possessive] versus "it's" [it is].

Just say no to contractions until you are able to use the correct words when appropriate.

P.S., Feel free to pick on my grammatical style and any errors that may exist. I do happen to have a functioning brain cell or two remaining that I can and will devote to correcting mistakes in my diction.

Posted at July 25, 2005 09:41 AM | Rants and Opinions

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Posted by: Thunderpaw at July 25, 2005 10:57 AM

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